apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
