what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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