as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
