8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
