I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
