she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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