why didn't you poke me back
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My bed smells like the plague
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize