Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
