She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
