I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize