So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
