I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
