New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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