yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
