i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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