I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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