you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
