everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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