At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize