put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
