don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
