If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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