if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
