Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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