I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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