I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
