you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
