Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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