had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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