Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
