38 yer olds are good kisserssss
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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