I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
