don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
