Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
