I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
