i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
