They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
