gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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