HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize