oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
