You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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