its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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