yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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