I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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