Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
