It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
