I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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