dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
