She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
