uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
