two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You pole danced in your parka.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
