i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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