I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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