I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
