She's JV to your varsity
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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