I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
