Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
