Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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