I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
