Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
