I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
