Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
