Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
